


V

by Anonymous



Series: D & S & S [3]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Internalized Homophobia, Other, Sexual Humor, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: misinterpretation.
Relationships: Demoman & Scout & Soldier
Series: D & S & S [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027561
Kudos: 17
Collections: Anonymous





	V

**Author's Note:**

> a little of ignorance...

At a picnic table, Demoman lounged dangerously backward in the bench, barely holding one beer bottle in his left hand, one of the many he had already drunk. He threw his head back, looking with a half-open eyelid at the stars beneath them, and at the fog that was formed from his exhalations. The fuss that Scout and Soldier made talking (or more exactly, arguing), felt farther and farther.

"Guys, listen, I have had sex many-many times..."

_Huh?_

"With women?" inquired Soldier with a smirk.

Scout jumped onwards, hitting the table with both hands, in front of the two explosive classes. Demoman jolted, almost causing him to lose his balance, if it wasn't that he quickly enough snatched Soldier's jacket from behind.

"Of course that with women! With who else I— _Don't_ answer that!"

Demoman and Soldier guffawed. Scout groaned out loud, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Lad... have ye ever..."—Slowly, with the parsimony of a drunk, took his right in front of his mouth, gesturing then a backward peace sign—"...done this?" He stuck out his tongue in between his fingers for as long as he could stop himself from laughing, not lasting for too long.

Figuring things out, Soldier gasped. While tittering, he slapped loudly Demoman in the back, who grimaced for a split-second.

In the meantime, Scout blinked confused.

"What's dat?" he asked.

Demoman and Soldier exchanged glances, both of them simpering. Demo looked back at Scout, keeping his fingers in his face.

Scout gulped. "Ain't somethin' british?"

Soldier shaked his head.

Demo only raised a brown. He opened and closed his mouth, taking his time before answering.

"Well... one could say... yes... but—"

In an instant, Soldier was grabbing Demo towards him by his suspenders, that weren't carrying bombs at that time. He opened his eye widely, dropping the bottle he was holding.

"WROOONG!" Soldier shouted right at Demo's face louder than the sound of the bottle breaking into pieces, spitting on him, urging him to close his eye again. "Don't you DARE to say that eating _PUSSY_ is ENGLISH because _IS NOT!_ "

"WHAT?" screeched Scout, his face soon becoming red. "I—I MEAN, I TOTALLY knew what Demo meant! Haha, I was messin' with ya guys...!"

Not playing attention to Scout, nor to Demoman trying to move him away, Soldier resumed with his scolding:

"As a well-versed man, not like _others_ , I have to admit that it must be something UNIVERSAL, but do NOT ever THINK to insinuate that's something AMERICANS don't do. I ASSURE you, AMERICANS. EAT. PUSSY!" He shoved his head forward, clashing the metal of his helmet right into Demo's forehead, making him scream.

"GET OFF ME, YE CRAZY YANK," Demo yelled back, as he struggled against him, attempting to escape from Soldier's grip, as well as he pulled from his hands and pushed his head away. He soon would need to switch to punches...

Scout's speech was lost in the background. "Listen, listen, if ya need to talk with the pussy-eatin' expert, I'm here to listen. _And_ to talk," he clarified. "Guys. Guys...?"

**Author's Note:**

> don't @ me (you can't anyway)


End file.
